pearl jam cancel show hb2 north carolina

RALEIGH — Hearing that a juicier issue will overshadow other political issues they had hoped to raise at their next concert, members of the 90s-era Politi-Rock band, Pearl Jam, have cancelled their Raleigh show.

The concert was set for PNC Arena on 4/20. (Ha ha, 420.)

“We were gonna talk about hunger, planet earth, the whales, things like that,” a band member was quoted as saying. “Ya know, whatever,” he added.

But Pearl Jam isn’t interested in sharing the limelight with other issues.

“North Carolina’s new law is at odds with our musical message of sharing and compassion,” esteemed singer Eddie Vedder said in a statement. “So we’ve decided to take it away from them.”

“Just a few days before, too,” Vedder added for effect.

The band joins a long list of other acts who are so preachy that they won’t even come to your area to preach anymore.

When reached out to for comment on the negative economic impact of HB2, Governor Pat McCrory claimed he was blindsided: “I had no idea Vedder cut his hair.”

Other musical groups have cancelled shows this month but reports indicate that these bands “suck” or “aren’t as good as Pearl Jam.”

Concertgoers who were asked if they had backup plans to the 4/20 show just smiled and winked.

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