RALEIGH — In wake of recent opinions on HB2 that seemed to only happen after they became politically expedient, a statement on HB2 has decided to release its own statement.

“It’s amazing that so many different men and women in different fields became horrified with HB2 months after the fact, all at the same time. Weird. They must all have their consciences in sync or something.”

The piece of paper continued, “I have been meticulously edited by a team of lawyers to ensure that everyone has the right to a more robust economy and in-state entertainment opportunities.”

“HB2 is bad for business — as you’ve likely heard for months now. And seriously, what is the government for if not to protect the rights of, er, business.”

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