I hope you’re not at work on this lovely Easter Monday, but if you are like me, then at least you can take a few minutes out of your day to read this week’s Twitter Roundup. I think I’m still full from all the food I ate yesterday, but you better believe I will be hitting up Harris Teeter later for 50% off chocolate bunnies. Also, the United States blew up some ISIS leaders with the MOAB bomb, United Airlines screwed up AGAIN, and some more things happened.
On the MOAB Bomb: Is the United States on the brink of nuclear warfare? Who knows, under Trump’s leadership. On Friday, the U.S. military dropped the most powerful non-nuclear bomb in Afghanistan that is labeled as the Massive Ordnance Air Blast bomb (MOAB). No civilians were hurt, but we’re not sure how it affected ISIS leaders either. Stay tuned.
*plays rock, paper, scissors, MOAB*
— GG (@Grabnpuss) April 16, 2017
— TrompTrump (@jasm5150) April 16, 2017
A MOAB-based foreign policy could work if all threats to the US lived in remote caves. But they don't. So maybe don't cut diplomacy by 29%.
— Brian Klaas (@brianklaas) April 16, 2017
If you believe we dropped a 21,000 pound MOAB and had an exact body count a day later then you are exceedingly gullible.
— Sean Kent (@seankent) April 15, 2017
On the NCGA: The North Carolina political scene sure does know how to keep it spicy. Last week, NC Republican Larry Pittman said that Abraham Lincoln was the “same sort of tyrant as Hitler.” Ok, sure. They also tried to fill a bill that would consider same-sex marriages as invalid. Safe to say that didn’t go anywhere. Oh and finally, they tried to pull NC State and UNC from the ACC if the NCAA tries to boycott us again.
The NCGA is like our embarrassing relative right now that we can’t keep from acting a fool in front of everyone
— Lauren Brownlow (@lebrownlow) April 13, 2017
Twitter: “Nobody could top the terrible PR blunders by Pepsi, United and Sean Spicer…”
NCGA: “…hold our beers.”
— Joe Ovies (@joeovies) April 11, 2017
— Equality NC (@equalitync) April 11, 2017
Me: "Hopefully our NCGA won't try and do anything dumb to piss off he ACC or NCAA again."
NCGA: "Hold my beer." https://t.co/zscspNrSsf
— UNC Humor (@UNC_Humor) April 12, 2017
United Airlines Incident: United just can’t get its you know what together it seems. About a month ago, they took Internet heat from not allowing passengers on because they were wearing leggings. Last week, they drug a man off of a flight because it was overbooked. He didn’t go down without a fight, however, and ended up bloodied and bruised. Obviously, United Airlines needs a new user’s manual and also better learn PR rules FAST.
— NBC News (@NBCNews) April 12, 2017
United CEO response to United Express Flight 3411. pic.twitter.com/rF5gNIvVd0
— United (@united) April 10, 2017
— Joe Thomas (@joethomas73) April 10, 2017
United: "Come fly our friendly skies!"
Me: "No, I think I'm ok–"
United: *drags me to plane by my hair* "COME FLY OUR FRIENDLY SKIES."
— Matt Roller (@rolldiggity) April 10, 2017
— Super Deluxe (@superdeluxe) April 10, 2017
— Taylor Stacy (@StacysADude) April 10, 2017
On April’s Birth: The damn giraffe finally had her calf (and yes, I looked up the correct term on Google). The live feed had been going strong for two months- so long that companies had even started sponsoring it. You can’t make this stuff up. Anyway, homegirl had her baby giraffe after EIGHTEEN MONTHS OF LABOR, and it’s a boy.
— Vinny ❄️ (@rwiggumrules) April 15, 2017
— Jųℓïε Cσŗŋεщεℓℓ (@juliecornewell) April 15, 2017
— Chris Cruise (@ChrisCruise) April 15, 2017
— Garrett Pauley (@garrettpauley) April 15, 2017
— Dep. Andrew Hovick (@SCSODepHovick) April 15, 2017
— Prof. Antonio Paris (@AntonioParis) April 15, 2017
On Kendrick’s New Album: Kendrick Lamar dropped a new album titled DAMN right before he headlined Coachella, and the Internet LOST it. If you haven’t ever listened to his music, most describe him as a lyrical genius. Meanwhile, Drake’s ghostwriter has been working 24/7.
If Kendrick doesn’t put Ron Simmons on the cover of his new album, titled “Damn,” then I’m not buying it. pic.twitter.com/ttZUPMHC2b
— Joe Ovies (@joeovies) April 11, 2017
When you listen to the new Kendrick… pic.twitter.com/ETULwWwnmn
— SportsChannel8 (@SportsChannel8) April 8, 2017
"kendrick lamar drops a MOAB on itunes" pic.twitter.com/eHHwzY9ipH
— sebas (@sebasbryng) April 16, 2017
How Kendrick caught the rap game slipping pic.twitter.com/zWYXAJlIMs
— Funny Vines (@FunnyVines) April 14, 2017
Kendrick really gave us multiple bars of backwards replay that's ridiculously ill why are mans so creative, mans said flip that line I said.
— Cherif Gueye (@RIFstradamus) April 15, 2017
On Easter: GLORIOUS EASTER. I think the holiday is vastly underrated. You most likely get Good Friday off, and some of you even get Easter Monday as well. You eat as much food as you do at Thanksgiving if your traditions are anything like my family’s, AND you get an excuse to eat endless amounts of chocolate for two days straight. Write me off as Easter’s biggest fan.
Who came up with the Easter bunny anyway? Bunnies don't lay eggs. This coming from a non-bio major.
— The Black Sheep NCSU (@BlackSheep_NCSU) April 16, 2017
Easter egg hunts with money instead of candy is what growing up is all about.
— Emma Farrell (@efarrell42) April 16, 2017
Happy Easter, everyone! Really. Except @realDonaldTrump
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) April 16, 2017
Jesus: Table for 26 please.
Maitre'd: There's only 13 of you.
Jesus: But we're all going to sit on the same side. pic.twitter.com/Am5YBxVXxf
— Sam Kalidi (@samkalidi) December 28, 2015
— Sweet Tea & Bourbon (@sweeteabourbon) April 12, 2017
Nephew just whispered something into a Cadbury Easter Bunny's ears then broke off its head.
I'm sleeping with the lights on.
— Woody (@WoodyLuvsCoffee) March 26, 2015
Judas: still on for Friday?
Judas: yeah, the last supper
Jesus: the what?
Judas: supper. Normal supper with the fellas
— David Hughes (@david8hughes) January 5, 2015
Easter tip: Tell your kids you hid an egg with $50 in it in the backyard but you don't remember where. Enjoy a quiet day indoors.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) March 10, 2015
REMINDER: no basket that the Easter Bunny gives out today will be as important as the one Isaiah Hicks gave Gonzaga with 25 seconds left
— BERTSTOL, CT (@brettlive) April 16, 2017
LOL Tweets of the Week:
When you blatantly lie on your job application pic.twitter.com/mM5UsMNDNk
— Patrick Kearney (@PK__7) April 12, 2017
Wow North Carolina DMV… how did you miss this one? pic.twitter.com/2dD8nZEp8R
— Shawn Krest (@ShawnKrest) April 11, 2017
Each paragraph of this story gets better and better pic.twitter.com/iGGI7hWJhs
— Scott Campbell (@scottcampbell) April 10, 2017